Occasionalky, the sun will set on an evening well spent.
...time on the couch eating salt and pepper chips and chatting about social justice and dreaming about the future. ...a neck and neck game of cribbage. ...pumping up bike tires. ...successful Visa troubleshooting. ...a cornbread, fruit & veggie picnic in the park less than a block from home. ...guitars played. Blog posts written. ...a beautiful sky and an episode of 30 Rock to close the day.
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This Wednesday I am thankful for...
...a 1 am thunderstorm wake up call and the hour of peace that comes only in His arms ...the beautiful sounds of Jon Thurlow... No one else gets to me quite like him. ...memories of 3 years ago when Sam and I were first learning how to be an "us" ...the kindness of my Pastor's wife, Anna, as she invited me to dinner and into their home. ...canceled plans that lead to spontaneous trips to the raw deal for decaf Americanos and chocolate treats. ...lilacs everywhere. ...that my students are in tuned to me enough to not act out when I come in quiet and solemn. ...for a coworker that is a cross between a mom and a good friend and that I trust her enough to cry in her room ...yellow legal pads that are like yellow telephones from the book Landline. ...the routine of making the same breakfast and lunch every day and using the same 4 glass containers to pack the food. ...sweet texts from my mother in law warning me about the horrid weather approaching ...the past being the past, new things being new ...his resurrection. Humans are imperfect, and unfortunately, that includes me.These lilacs are more than perfect... These last 24 hours have been rough. I stayed up late staring at a computer screen until my contacts dried out, something I haven't done since college, trying to get our Visa applications semi-organized. I realized something I had temporarily forgotten: humans are the worst at perfection.
I think I found 2 Visas of the 11 that were error free. This does not include my own, or the one I wrote for Sam. See? I told you I'm imperfect too. I retyped Visa after Visa, often having to reprint them after I realized I'd made yet another mistake on the retyped copy. After school, my google chat never showed, nor did someone I thought was supposed to come over. Turns out I was on time for the google chat and a day early for that visitor. Oops. I think the lesson Im supposed to be learning from all of this is that I shouldn't get as angry with others for their mistakes as I do. Sometimes, I start to think I'm a superior person, but I am just as careless and thoughtless as others. It it does me no good to feel sad for having no "goodbye" note from Sam when I didn't take the time to write and sneak one into his suitcase either. I am am level with others. No better. No more moral. Maybe better at making pesto pizza, but I'm too congested to tell. Heres my reminder, to you, to me, to all humans and crappy canon printers alike: humble thyself. A few pictures from this beautiful spring day... Reading in one of my favorite places - the library gardens! Just me taking a fake nap on some concrete... OH MY GOODNESS... I can't even get over how beautiful spring is. Nothing tops these blossoms.
Finishing the race & faking the smile. Rachel was so sweet and ran with me to the end! My true hot mess spirit. Also, the tattoos done by 5th and 6th grade artists kept me going! Dear Sam,
Today, I ran the worst 13.1 miles I've ever ran. Either the heat or something I ate made me feel like I had a giant rock in my stomach. The most frustrating part was when for about 3 miles, I kept getting passed over and over again. Your family was there to cheer me on with a sign that says "Fueled By Organic Tacos" and one with Leslie Knope's face on it. They know me so well. Rachel ran around the city to support me at 4 spots in the race. #killinit After the race I was a HOT MESS but by 1 I pulled myself together for a burger and chips at Logjam. I got a jerk burger in your honor, and because it's a rad mix of tacos and burgers!!! We met up with a friend who had just gotten done playing 1860s baseball. We need to go see the Menomonie Blue Caps ASAP. I made another Hello Fresh meal, it was sad eating it without you. But it was also pesto chicken and roasted potatoes, so it was delicious. I hope you're enjoying your time by the shores of Lake Heron! I'm sure you're not getting enough sleep and drinking too much crappy coffee. Hopefully there's also some nerf basketball. I'll see you soon! Bleh. I really didn't want to have to write this post, but last night an 18-year-old got me #superconvicted.
She was talking about women and social media and how when we use sites like instagram and pinterest we become obsessed with the photos and pursuing them. (Luckily, not me... ever.) I thought it was interesting that she highlighted these two sites, but really, it's true - these sites are full of images which as so distorted or framed or taken out of reality. I am so guilty of this! There is something to be said about being positive and focusing on the good and not showing the reality of your mess and I HEAR that, but on the other hand, we look at these pictures and we scroll through and we assume that it IS reality. We recognize it is not, but somehow we still pursue perfection as if it is attainable. What kept skipping over and over in my mind is this, "What am I going to tell my daughter someday?" Am I going to tell her that I spent hours scrolling through pictures of people (bloggers & mamas & teachers & foodies) that I don't even know instead of living a life worth living? There are so many things I could be doing other than being on instagram - reading, writing letters, BLOGGING, talking to my husband, being present. I can't decide if it's more cliche to use social media and think its not an issue or to quit it. But I suppose I'd rather quit it and be more intentional about being present than not be a cliche. |
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December 2022
I'm guessing I'll have it all figured out by the time I turn 30.
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