I think I am genuinely fearful that I won't have friends upon returning home.
It was a crazy year and especially past semester. What if I lost all of the connections I made? What if I return to America and no one remembers me? I see everyone busy living their lives, caught in a whirlwind of social activity, and while I am loving the friendships I'm creating here, I have fear about the return. I'm not entirely sure how rational the fear is, I'm also occasionally afraid that I'm not actually engaged and getting married to Samuel, and I recognize that has zero truth to it. But being across the ocean in a distant country where daily communication is an impossibility, it has a tendency to make one feel lost & forgotten. I'm thankful to those who have been faithfully emailing me and from the texts that a still get from a few back home, but the adage still springs in my thoughts: out of sight, out of mind?
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To my dad... the one who brought me into this world, who gave me his DNA, who took part in creating me... the one who taught me how to be polite, how to paint, and how to keep going on hard hikes... the one with the large, rough hands, the round belly that sounded like a drum, and the squinty eyes that crinkled with his booming laugh... Happy Father's Day To Pops... the one who is taking in a new daughter at the age of 22, who tells me I am loved and I am lovely, who seeks to care for me whenever I am around... the one who fixes my broken headlight, changes my oil, and gives my future husband and I advice on finances, automobiles, and most other parts of life... the one who buys me breakfast, calls me dear, and kisses me on the head and the cheek... Happy Father's Day And above all, to my Heavenly Father... the one who formed me in my mothers womb, knows every hair on my head, and brought me into His family... the one who is never afraid to correct and rebuke, but always does so in a gentle and loving way... the one who sent His Son to die and to experience painful separation from Him so that the souls of the world could be free... the one who has never failed to hold me when I cry, provide for all of my needs, and be a perfect example of love and gentleness... Happy Father's Day The Lord is faithful. He never ceases to provide more than I could ask or imagine. I am blessed to be loved in this way by so many excellent men. Glory to the Father. As it was in the beginning. Alleluia. |
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December 2022
I'm guessing I'll have it all figured out by the time I turn 30.
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