Beginning of the year vs end of the year. #keepitcasual #wemadeit #ithinkifeel10yearsoldernow Today was the last day with students for the year. It feels somehow anti-climactic. It's been a frustrating week. As a special education teacher, most of my students spend much of their day in their regular education classrooms. Once the academics slow (read: we stopped teaching anything starting Monday), my job becomes more and more pointless. I spent almost an entire day in a third grade room just to have somewhere to be, to feel like I had a little purpose. Sure I had paperwork, and I could be organizing or emptying my room (closet), but really there wasn't much left in me to do that kind of thing. I need the contact with the kiddos to make my job feel worthwhile!
Today was the last day and I didn't get to say goodbye to any of my students. They check-out with their general ed teachers after our school picnic and then they're gone for the summer. It was a tough way to end the year. It is also strange trying to pack up my room for next year, because I've never had a next year. This is the first time in my 4 years of last-days-of-school that I will be coming back to that school again in three months. In a lot of ways, it's a relief to not have to start over, again. But at the same time there's a lot more pressure for me to be good at this, since I've already had my infamous "first year" experience. There are some positives too. Our SPED team is really strong. I have a great list of students and teachers that I will be working with next year and I think we've restructured our program well. I've come out the other side of debates with several co-workers and my boss and I think it's made me stronger. I got 3's on all of my evals, except in the area of organization & planning, where I got a 4 (insert fake gasp here). I think I figured out how to arrange my room in a way that will work really well, allow me a small desk so I don't have to sit at the same height as 7-year-olds all day, and stop the incessant blowing of the overhead fan. My mindfulness co-coach and I have some incredible ideas to start off the year next year. I guess, all of that to say, I'm looking forward to next year. I'm excited about the possibilities for education and about continuing to build positive relationships. The last week of school though? I think it totally blows.
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December 2022
I'm guessing I'll have it all figured out by the time I turn 30.
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