The past few weeks before break were kind of a blur. Break came at a needed time, I time when I needed to take a step back from school and the relationships I have there and take inventory of all that I have. The beginning of break, I basically switched off between doing my homework like a maniac and laying around my house, crying out to God asking me why I was in this place. Last night, I told him that I didn't really appreciate how he loved me over break, or how he had me love him. I wanted to be loved by being surrounded by my friends in Pine Ridge; I wanted to love him by serving him in that place and pouring out to the people on the team. Instead, he loved me through my mother, through the Hetricks, through people at both Community church and Alliance, through texts from Jordan, Jenna, and Molly, through a visit to the Gladis family, and through the time I got to spend with Jamie. He loved me through phone calls with Sam, Lexie, and Rachel and through Copper Rock study dates with Anna, Jill, and Ashley. He loved me through a Thai dinner with Matt in Chicago. This isn't how I would have chosen to spend my spring break, doing homework, racing around Appleton meeting with different people, and taking a strange two-day trip to Chicago. But I was able to gain perspective on my relationships, the way I spend my time, and the way I view myself. God taught me a lot this week, things that I wouldn't have learned in Eau Claire, things I wouldn't have learned in Pine Ridge. So I am grateful that despite my own selfish desires, God knows what I need and is faithful to bring that about.
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December 2022
I'm guessing I'll have it all figured out by the time I turn 30.
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