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I am thankful for...
...Alexi, who reminds me to be thankful. ...random teachers in Denver that make awesome youtube videos about adding decimals. ...black beans filling my freezer, crockpot, and stomach. ...Pastor Jeruld and his insane passion for his congregation, the Church, and prayer. ...place value disks, because those guys are just really helpful! ...yo-ga. ...Monday night date nights and a safe place to talk openly and positively about our marriage. ...a printer. And not having to walk down 4 flights of stairs to get to it! ...nights alone where I can just get homework done, even if it means my man being out & about. #monstertruckcake #sotacky #loveit The second-happiest part of my house: this little hutch. Butternut squash... soon to be soup. Spicy black bean soup! Best smell to come home to. #domestic #sorry #barf Nothing says fall like some high school football! Go Mounders! #homecoming2015 Wonderful Saturday afternoon with Habibi and some chai tea. I heart alone time, driving through the country, stopping at thrift sales and grocery shopping. Today, my wonderful hubband put up with a long road trip to this orchard. Golly, I love this man! So thankful for him! This afternoon was a good one. A bushel or a peck? Apple butter is in the crockpot. Applesauce is on the docket. Apple pie is in my tummy. Friends, what are you doing to celebrate the incoming season? I'm looking forward to wearing more smart wools, hiking Hoffman Hills, and filling my belly with different kinds of pie. "I want to get a punkin!" "Why?" "Because they're cute and it's fall!" "But what are we going to do with it?" I may have married Ron Swanson. :) "I think maybe the difference is that you care if our porch is cute and I am totally indifferent." Amen.
Today, I actually took out my camera and Sam & I explored Menomonie for a while! Home! Pretty flowers! Also, potential future home? I love this city's downtown. I don't believe it. Keep Portland weird? Clearly these people haven't been in Menomonie. Birdie! Wouldn't mind this office... succulents & art! Sunny Sunday sippin'!
Today was one of those doing-everything-wrong kind of days. I tried to use a non research-based assessment & got told not to. I didn't get a group of students to finish their math homework. I'm pretty sure I may have taught dependent clauses wrong. I got an email about how I should have spoken up earlier about what I said during collaboration. One of the students in my RtI group didn't finish his workbook page and I just let him go. I said teachers first name's in front of students... again. No one on the list showed up to intervention and I didn't even go look for them. I gave the directions wrong in English class. And I didn't even go to Math class because I was bothering other teachers all day to try to get baseline data for a student and finally just did it myself. There are several times I ask myself in a day, Why am I even here? But today, I followed it with, Am I going to get back up from this? And I decided yes. Yes, because Emily said I was her favorite teacher ever.
(I don't care if she tells every teacher that.) Yes, because I found fun math games that got Mike into ratios. Yes, because Brittany asked me if I was coming to watch her play volleyball again. Yes, because students are now occasionally calling out "Mrs. Weaver" and asking me questions. Yes, because David, who "hates" working with me, asked if I could read his journal today. Yes, because I talked to Tim and he finally wrote notes in class, for the first time. Yes, because one of my students wrote a story about someone named Hyper B. Ole who exaggerated everything, and that is just hilarious. Yes, because Lily drew me a picture that said "Mrs. Weaver" "Teacher" & "Fun." Little Emily giggled as she erased her math mistake, saying "Mrs. M always makes mistakes when she teaches math!" The same girl who used to erase a whole page because of one wrong number. Yes, because if I can't make mistakes, what does that show my students? *All student's names were changed because it's the twenty-first century, people. Photocredit: Anna Mateffy I am so grateful for my husband and who he is. I am thankful to be Mrs. Weaver because...
...I have a man who wakes up each morning, makes our bed and makes us oatmeal for breakfast before sending me off to school. ...my husband chooses to trust in the Lord and asks me to do the same. ...I am held when I cry late in the night from fear. ...there is someone who lives in my apartment who can make sentences sound more good. ...my Mr. is as handsome as they come. ...I am encouraged and believe that I am talented and skilled. ...each day is a new opportunity to hear "I would eat the crap out of that." & "This is delicious." ...my music tastes (and choices!) are slowly growing. #chetatkins #justintownesearl ...I have a faithful blog-reader! ...my teammate and I can chose people, enjoyment, and worship over money. ...I sometimes get to drive back and forth from campus three times to help set up an NSO event and that makes me feel like I am important and helpful. ...there is a spider-man lunch box sitting on my counter and I don't even have a 5-year-old. ...we know that mornings are best spent slowly, mid-mornings should include snacks, and eggs count as a meal 24/7. Especially if there are spices in them, which there should always be. ...our closet is stocked with 6+ instruments and there is one more coming in the mail. ...I get to sleep like an otter every night and now I'm never afraid of drifting away. Sam & I got to spend an incredible week on the shores of Lake Superior, enjoying NOT planning anything for a whole 7 days. On our adventures we... stopped in Duluth and chatted with Nathaniel Murray Brown over some delicious sammiches. took walks to get ingredients for banana boats. tried to get a monarch to crawl on my finger (and failed). wore flannels while starting fires in our very own (for five days) cove. made sure to have a mid-morning game of bananagrams with snacks. created what was sure to be the worlds best omelette. #sundriedtomatobasil awoke at 5:30am to watch the sunrise in the cove. drank coffee in hand-thrown mugs on top of rocks. started some fires in a cast iron pan while cooking bacon. finished off breakfast with some delicious s'mores. got off of our rumps for a few hours and hiked around Temperance river. froze our toes and gave Sam his first taste of being in water. were too darn adorable to handle. enjoyed two of the World's Best Donuts while wearing Hello Kitty band-aids. had an extended road trip home complete with stops for overlooks, flea markets, Betty's pies ("You got me Betty's pies? You dogs!"), and posing like a chicken after a delicious lunch at the Duluth Grill. We were extremely thankful for a week away, delicious food, and an abundance of relaxation.
We highly recommend the North Shore and can give you loads of recommendations if you ever are planning a trip up there! Much thanks to Justin, Nathaniel Murray Brown Holland & Adam, Mitch & Elizabeth, and the Weavers for all of the tips on delicious places to go! Weaver Wedding | 8-8-2015I am excited to get more pictures, especially the professional ones by Anna (she gave me a few sneak peaks and oh my word. This woman is a savant I tell you). But Ann was wonderful at taking pictures all day long and I got to see them pretty much right after the honeymoon! I photobombed my bridesmaids! I am funny! Spending the morning with them was the best. One Direction, say what? It is a W for "Weaver." Get it? I was so happy to have a bunch of my friends come visit me while we were all getting ready! I felt like the most fortunate bride in the whole wide world, probably. Samuel and I at the reception - wed! The Zimmerman family is just chillin in the background... Sam & I with our darling, duckling, daughter Alley. What a doll! Our friends gave us a bubble send-off to my favorite rock n' roll song ever. Marriage!
These are most of the events pre-wedding that occurred about a month ago now. Enjoy! [Part One] [Part Two] We got free cukes from one of the adorable old Hmong farmer ladies, so I made pickles! Me at our new table that we picked up at a thrift sale for $0.00 and I painted with some leftover paint from redoing the dresser. Also, STIR FRY! What do you do when your wedding flowers come 9 days early? Have dried ones instead! (Photocredit: Anna Mateffy) I made a mocha cake with coconut frosting for mine & Sam's legal wedding. It was awesome. Yay! Wedding! And cake cutting and things. Can I get a witness!!! Molly Bray came to be my legal witness for our wedding! And she even wore wedding colors! What a gem. I miss this sister.
So I realize these are fairly delayed, but you know, getting married and all. Read part one here! Lexie, Ellie, and I watched our men playing croquet. I do not understand this sport. However, Sam looks darn good in a vest, so that was nice. So I did this gross thing called "school" for three weeks and homework ate up my life for quite a while. NOT A FAN. But Dr. B let us role play kids with EBD and someone flipped a table and broke their toe whilst yelling the f-word. So that was pretty neat. I was going to be all "Look! I made an English breakfast!" but then Archie was all, "mine!". Our very first stir fry! We were very proud of this. It had onions, peanut sauce, mandrin oranges, and cashews. We're fancy. One of my all-time-favorite memories. We realized AS we were heading out the door (late) that we needed to bring something to dinner. We grabbed a mixing bowl & headed to the local grocery store for berries, saran wrap, and water to wash them in. I washed them while driving, and drained them out the window. We're good at being adults. We went out to Dave's house in the country and there was a sunset and horses. LOVE! Anna & I had a fake bachelorette party the night before mine & Sam's legal wedding. We watched a movie on Netflix and went to bed with stomach aches from too much popcorn.
So I've got a LOT that I want to blog about, and about 21 pictures to go along with all of these happenings. So instead of the world's longest blog post, I'll break it up into three different posts. Here is a Series of Short Stories: Part One! After picking me up in the O'Hare airport (!!!) Sam & I took an adventure to Chinatown and enjoyed fried green beans, tea, and crack chicken. So. Good. I spent my last days in the house I grew up in. There isn't a more bittersweet thing than saying goodbye to that past and saying hello to a new life for our family. This awkward little building is my (almost) new home! I absolutely love it. I've been documenting everything. I believe this is our first "meal" together in our new apartment. Please note that Sam totally looks like Hobbes. What a guy. I did laundry! I actually love laundromats, they are cozy and smell nice and clean. Habibi, Sam, and I made curry and NAAN! Oh my word it was so freaking good. Please come visit us so that we can make you curry and naan. It is my favorite. Again, in the same vein of documenting everything, this is when we applied for our marriage license! We have an umbrella! I hadn't showered for a few days... a trend.
I think I am genuinely fearful that I won't have friends upon returning home.
It was a crazy year and especially past semester. What if I lost all of the connections I made? What if I return to America and no one remembers me? I see everyone busy living their lives, caught in a whirlwind of social activity, and while I am loving the friendships I'm creating here, I have fear about the return. I'm not entirely sure how rational the fear is, I'm also occasionally afraid that I'm not actually engaged and getting married to Samuel, and I recognize that has zero truth to it. But being across the ocean in a distant country where daily communication is an impossibility, it has a tendency to make one feel lost & forgotten. I'm thankful to those who have been faithfully emailing me and from the texts that a still get from a few back home, but the adage still springs in my thoughts: out of sight, out of mind? To my dad... the one who brought me into this world, who gave me his DNA, who took part in creating me... the one who taught me how to be polite, how to paint, and how to keep going on hard hikes... the one with the large, rough hands, the round belly that sounded like a drum, and the squinty eyes that crinkled with his booming laugh... Happy Father's Day To Pops... the one who is taking in a new daughter at the age of 22, who tells me I am loved and I am lovely, who seeks to care for me whenever I am around... the one who fixes my broken headlight, changes my oil, and gives my future husband and I advice on finances, automobiles, and most other parts of life... the one who buys me breakfast, calls me dear, and kisses me on the head and the cheek... Happy Father's Day And above all, to my Heavenly Father... the one who formed me in my mothers womb, knows every hair on my head, and brought me into His family... the one who is never afraid to correct and rebuke, but always does so in a gentle and loving way... the one who sent His Son to die and to experience painful separation from Him so that the souls of the world could be free... the one who has never failed to hold me when I cry, provide for all of my needs, and be a perfect example of love and gentleness... Happy Father's Day The Lord is faithful. He never ceases to provide more than I could ask or imagine. I am blessed to be loved in this way by so many excellent men. Glory to the Father. As it was in the beginning. Alleluia. When you're not going on a missions trip, you tend to think...
...God won't use you ...God won't provide for you ...you're not allowed to ask your friends for prayer ...there is no purpose in the trip you're embarking on ...if you don't want to go, it probably means you're in the midst of disobedience ...there will be no one there that knows or loves God I am leaving for Scotland in just a few days. I'm a bit excited, but honestly I just don't want to go. When I think about it, a slight feeling of dread comes over me. I realized that I am believing all of these lies lately; when I told Sam about some of them he kind of chuckled. It really is that ridiculous. Why would not going on a "missions trip" mean that all of a sudden I wont be provided for or cared for? My beautiful friend Maddie also gave me some wise words. I mentioned to her that I wouldn't be going to Scotland if I had known I was getting married in August and she responded by reminding me that God knew. He knew that I would be getting engaged, changing my wedding date, and even going to Scotland this year. And he will care for me. Truth I have been hearing: - he will go with me wherever I go - this is a time that I get to build beautiful intimacy with this God that I love - the foundation that Sam and I will build over these months apart will be strong and prepare us for marriage - I am going to Scotland to love the least of these as I know I have desired to do - video chatting... holla at that! So here I go! In less than three days. Whoa, baby. I haven't really known what to do with my community lately. I can tell that I am pushing away. I don't feel so bad about canceling on a friend or missing out on a night of bible study. Granted, it's always been for good reasons, but still, I can see myself pushing away.
The most obvious place I've noticed this is in the caf... mostly I've just stopped going. It's the worst going to the caf alone and I usually can't find somebody to go with me in the 20-minute window I have. I also don't try very hard. Even the days that I do go, I hope to not see people I know because I don't want to sit with them. And it's not like I don't like people or that I have social anxiety or anything, it just feels forced now. Like I have to be the awkward loner in order to have people let me sit by them... they aren't really my friends. Or at least that's how I think about it. I wonder how much of this is just natural transition from being a college student in this community to no longer living here or being a part of this group of people. It's so weird to think of where I was at a year ago, so deeply immersed in this community. I wanted to finish out strong... am I not doing that? Am I taking the infamous senior step-back? Is that a good thing or am I running? I still want to continue those relationships I've been investing in and that I know are meaningful and fruitful, don't get me wrong, if you're reading this we are probably friends and I definitely want to keep it that way. I think it's just those relationships that are more on the outskirts or where we know each other but aren't really "friends," it's those that I so deftly slink away from. In t-minus 3.5 months, I'll be wed. Living in Menomonie. Starting a new community. So that's weird. In less than 4 months, I will be calling a new city "home." Sam and I got to adventure around Menomonie a bit last night, and my soul flitted with excitement. It didn't soar necessarily, or leap, or do an interpretive dance, but it flitted a bit. I am anxious to see what God will have for me in this new place. How he will use me, teach me, grow me. I am excited to learn to love this new, albeit temporary, home. Watching "A Year of Adventures with Frog and Toad" was certainly a highlight of the night. The Mabel Tainter theatre (circa 1889) is a real gem. My jaw dropped when I went inside this place. The "famous clock tower" as Sam described it. (Wait, is Big Ben in Menomonie?) One of my favs by John Lucas. Kind of an essential at this phase in life.
...and maybe a lot less of my life does than I am used to.
Currently, I am going through big-T "Transition" and it is probably a bit frightening, but I haven't really noticed it yet. Which sounds pretty ridiculous because I just imagined myself walking next to T-Rex and not noticing it. That is a little bit what this is like. This last week alone, I had my last day of regular classes, last day of prep, and my last 4 hour lesson-planning session in the McIntyre library. And they all passed without me so much as taking a moment to acknowledge them. (Unless you count the overly excited voicemail I left Sam about lesson planning.) Friends, this season of my life and the season to come are going to be very different than the past four years. This May, I am headed to CFW with UW-Stout's IV chapter to begin to build relationships with them there, as I will be (hopefully) volunteering with the chapter next fall. This is so exciting because it means I can do ministry with my partner and I finally get to meet all of the students he talks enthusiastically about! This is also pretty sad, because I don't get to go to Eau Claire's week at CFW. I don't get to sit in the lodge and pray with Molly or go on photo hikes with Anna or see Alley experience CFW for the first time. At the end of May, I am taking my $1,200 plane ticket (yikes) to the Chicago airport and flying to Amsterdam with a group of college students and myself. We are staying in a hostel I booked (I didn't even know I could legally do that) and doing bike tours the next day, because we want to. Then I am spending 6 weeks in Scotland, learning how to be a better Special Education teacher. And I'm not even terrified. I'm sure I will be, but the past year has given me an insane amount of confidence in myself as a teacher and in the Lord as he prepares me for what I am called to do. And I'll be in freaking Scotland. I'm sure the whiskey and the tall hills and even just looking at a pair of shoes will make me miss Sam, but we get to figure out long distance for a while, and that will be both terrible and wonderful. July, I will be a man with no home. Except that I'll be a woman living in my friends' apartments. And taking summer classes. And making wedding decorations until my eyes fall out (hopefully not). And moving all of my stuff out of my mother's house because somehow putting a ring on my left finger made me a big kid now. Woooooowwww. Some of my friends have no plans for the summer (terrifying, don't get me wrong). I took the other route, I have all of the plans for the summer. And then I will be married. Living in a new city. Living in an apartment for the first time in my life. Paying for health insurance and car insurance and groceries and dish soap. Living with a man. (He is going to sleep right in my bed with me you guys! Isn't that crazy?! Whaaaat?) So yeah, the Transition T-Rex is chillin' next to me right now (LOL, like a T-Rex could fit in a dorm room) and we are just kind of nodding along as all of these new and exciting and scary things are happening. And things are ending and that is hard. But I see my Creator through it all. He is leading and providing and showing me how I can be more like Him in this life. Sometimes anxiety builds in my chest as I sit on the third floor of Centennial and I know that it is my body telling me to move. To get out, like actually get outside and move as I was created to move.
Sometimes I lace up my righteously hot pink running shoes and Jesus tells me "no music today, you will need the silence." Sometimes 3 random songs from ex-boyfriends play over and over in my head when I'm running and I switch between thinking "I can't be thinking about ex-boyfriends, I'm engaged! Am I even allowed to have ex-boyfriends?" and "Jesus, can you remind me again why my ipod isn't currently in my pocket?" Sometimes as my feet pound downhill and my knees scream and I'm finally forced to stop I hear him say: Be. Sometimes as I come to that infamous field where I've layed with the sun on my face and country music in my ears, I look to the left and I look to the right. I decide to go left. Sometimes I see the giant horizontal tree that I climbed last spring when Jesus breathed life into my soul again. I am constant. Sometimes, I wander through the woods, no longer wondering why I wasn't allowed to bring my ipod because His voice is speaking so clearly over and over into my ears. Sometimes I hear the trees that have only half fallen creaking in the wind and I think of my own soul creaking. Do not despair. Sometimes I walk deeper in the woods, no longer leading, but being led. Sometimes I am reminded that my soul is at stake. And the reality hits me like a semi truck. Sometimes, as I weave through the trees, remembering, these words run like a stream. Be. I am constant. Do not despair. This omelette has got a bit of a southwestern kick to it, just like Manu. This omelette is "normal" until you add hot sauce to it, not unlike the Spurs.
Manu Ginobili Rookie Omelette Ingredients eggs mushrooms (sauteed in garlic) spinach polish sausage (or other sausage) cheddar cheese (real or fake, to your liking) hot sauce I sauteed up the mushrooms and polish sausage in garlic while steaming the spinach in a separate pan. Sam made the omelettes and we stuffed these bad boys FULL. Finish with a dollop of hot sauce. Or five. So as Sam & I were discussing what the purpose of engagement is (people keep telling us there is one, without actually telling us what it is), he made an excellent point that this is the last time in our lives we will ever be "single" (like the unmarried type of single). "We will never again not have been married, once we are married." Hashtag flawless logic. He said maybe engagment is a time of mourning the loss of our lives as single people. I think I can get on board with that, but I have a hard time "mourning" something I currently have. So instead, I am going to be grateful for it! Grateful for being in these dorms, grateful for not moving away, grateful for not yet having to start a new life as a wife and homemaker and just getting to be me, now. I am grateful for... ...hearing Holland's laugh down the hall and getting to run and see her. ...nights alone in my bed where I get crazy lonely and Jesus meets me in powerful ways. ...getting to press snooze a gazillion times when my roommate isn't around. hashtag sleeeep. ...nights spent up late talking to Molly or giving her back massages. ...eating with a crowd of at least 3 in the mornings. ...I get to do my own laundry (just saying, this is a high value). ...being within walking distance of Jordan & Audrey's and getting to go there thrice this week! ...farting whenever I want. (I'm just being real.) ...not having to do dishes every stinkin' day. ...silence. ...seeing the same people every morning on my way to the bathroom. ...so easily being able to serve those around me, like walking Adam's bike to the shop to get air. taking my camera out on the first warm day Cadott's got some beauty, who knew. Old doors and blue paint are my thing. These are my good friends Holland and Alexi. As you can tell by this photo, I am a champ at taking selfies.
Yesterday, I was a bit of a bridezilla.
Not in the "wear that $500 dress or I'll kill you" way, but in the "nothing-is-going-right-my-life-is-ending" way. So I called my sister. (Because your sister is the person you go to when you need wisdom... and when you're pretty sure you probably don't have any friends, because it's just one of those days that you believe that.) "We don't have a venue." "You'll get it figured out, what else is going on?" "School is hard." "Who can you work on it with? Who can support you?" "Mostly I just feel like I'm in a funk and I'm not happy or giddy and I don't want a wedding, I just want to be married and not put up with any of this lacy madness." It's true. I am in a funk. I'm ready to be married, but I'm not ready to go through the "weee you're going to have a wedding!" squeals and excitement of bridesmaid dresses and deciding what my decorations will be. I'm still a little like, "Wait, what? I'm getting married? ME? But wives have, like, skills... and sanity." Ahem. Lie. (I mean I'm sure some do.) I do not have to have everything figured out for Sam to marry me. And it's okay for me to not be okay right now, in this season. School is crazy stressful, I'm studying abroad in two months, my family is going through changes, I'm moving to a different city, I'm planning a wedding, and I'm about to join my messy life with another human's mess. That is hard. It is okay for it to be hard. Someday I will be the blushing, gleeful, pee-my-pants-excited bride, but I'm not right now. I am going to allow myself to be in the season I am in and not feel guilty for how I am feeling. Today, I placed a banana chip on my tongue
and I tasted the mountains in China I tasted the hour-long bus ride and listening to Vespers and the honking horns when the sheep crowded the road I tasted sweet watermelon and the smell of pine and running down a mountain towards the safety of my brothers laughing at the panic of the coming rain and the deeper panic of my new love close to perceived danger Today, as I savored my banana chip I savored the memory of V's living room where I first learned how to say "how much" or "thank you" I savored the memory of eating naan pizza and hurriedly creating new batches for the group of hungry men coming over I savored the sweet image my God had given me Brothers and sisters, voices raised in their own language, singing and praising Him Today, I ate a banana chip and it was like eating summer's sunshine The 24-hour drive across the country to Montana Jam sessions and no sleep and the tiny town in North Dakota with $.50 coffee Meeting Hayden for the first time and listening to Harry Potter Eating a buffalo burger and climbing 1200 feet and scampering under a waterfall Today, I am thankful for banana chips for the memories and for the sweet crunchy taste I am thankful for my time in China I am thankful for my love I am thankful for summer sun I am thankful for mountains and for adventures I am thankful that sometimes the only reminder my soul needs of goodness is a banana chip I have many loved ones to thank for making this birthday special.
Pet snails, new paints, smartwool, a mix CD, and lots of chocolate. Homemade cards, flowers, and hugs on hugs on hugs. Everything gold. Meatloaf, brussel sprouts, sunchips, and cakes on cakes on cakes. Puzzles, banagrams, and 31. The perfect calendar and a salsa jar filled with brightly colored paper. Also this x1000. I think I win for the longest blog post title. But this omelette wins for also being a sandwich. WHAAATT??? Yeah, that's right. Rajon Rondo Omelette... with a sandwich INSIDE. Whoa. This omelette was named for Rondo because he's kind of crazy. But he's also realllly good. And probably other facts and basketball and things that I don't remember that Sam said.
Moral of the story: make this. Then eat it. Whatcha doin' Rando here? Rajon Rando Rookie Omelette Ingredients eggs bread minced garlic spinach deli turkey avocado peanut butter* So you make a typical omelette and sprinkle spinach (sauteed with garlic) on the inside. Then you toast the bread and make a sandwich with the avocado on one side and the peanut butter on the other, putting deli turkey in the middle. Cut the sandwich in half and put it inside of the omelette. Cook for a while longer. Enjoy. Note: Sam has been asking to put peanut butter in an omelette for a while, but I haven't been game. This is the first time we tried it and I think we both agreed that it would be better without (especially because of the garlic and avocado... don't judge, Rando is a rookie). Stay tuned for a better peanut butter omelette in the future! |
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December 2022
I'm guessing I'll have it all figured out by the time I turn 30.
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